Got to start somewhere

( this is my 2nd post first one got deleted so if this seems off im trying to remember what i said the first time)....So i've come to a point in my life where i just feel like i have something to say and i want people to hear it. I guess you you can say im going to start with going on in my life right now. In 3 weeks im getting laid off from the company im working at. Now ive been laid off before, but this time, it feels different, well first i can say i know its coming they told me. Witch i really like, i can spend less and prepare for it. I have like 19 days of vacation that im going to get paid out (i never went any where), all my stock, and severance pay. There is where im kind of upset at. its like really this is all im getting, ive been here 3 years, never asked for a raise, and this is all im worth? I guess you can say i feel really bitter about the reasoning. That im not good enough and there not going to train me for the new building. It's also hard because i have never met my new boss in person sense our companies has merged. He's out of NJ, and I'm here in CA. Now there was a lack of communication on both parts. On his end because he expected a lot from me witch i didn't know what he wanted because he never asked, and maybe i should of asked him everyday what should i do, other than continue to do the job i was doing. Now i am not degrading him or the company, but its one of those things where you think about are they really thinking this though. I'm not saying that because i am losing my job, but more alongs the company wise. you see were moving to a new building and it was my job to see everything though. Whos going to take care of that when im gone? Now im at a point in my life where i want my next job to be something i want to do more than 3 years, something where i can walk in and enjoy it (more than just going in for the people). Like right know i feel like i want to be a writer, like concert reviews, interview bands, review cd's......If you ever known me, than you know i have always been passionate about music, and i guess you can say that started when my mom passed away. It was the only thing i felt that was there for me at that time, because i was just starting high school, i have vary few friends, and your at point in your life where your just now trying to think of who you are as a person, your trying to find your place in the world. I guess also im bitter because, just the depression of finding a new job. It took me a long time to get this one and i had to go though a temp agency to get it. I dont really want to do that unless i know for sure its a perm spot. I dont want to get a 3 month job and lose the unemployment could be getting. I should be fine for a while with my leave package if i did the math right (but i always hated math). its just one of those things like what to do now. where to go? I dont want to be stuck in my room all the time searching for a job like last time, and i can only go to the mall so many times. I got lots of people here that has my back, and are going to try to keep there eye out for me, they to also feel bad and thing its wrong why am i getting let go. So its good i got a support system here, and i can use anyone as contacts. I'm sure i'll find something that will land me on my feet, and really really do hope its something i want to do for a vary long time.